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Opinion: Why we should NEVER be sorry

harris and co blog sorry not sorry

Trawling through social media and online forums and groups it is all to common for me to find girls apologising for their appearance. This has been a slow to rise topic in the year of 2014 with feminism and equal rights for both sexes being talked about at the UN and in other high profile situations.

For me this is not OK. I don’t believe it is right that woman don’t stand up for themselves when saying something. By apologising we are not being affirmative, strong and it totally lessens the effect of the statement. It is a conditioned defence mechanism of the 21st century and it needs to stop. We as woman, girls, females and friends need to stand up our views opinions and actions and make statements not apologies. When I see someone post ” Look at my outfit sorry for my messy hair though!” it crushes me. So what if you have messy hair rock it and be yourself. I think this whole society and attitudes toward woman has made this practice common place. This action itself reflects and supports how we have been conditioned and expected to be something less, not as acceptable.

I have learned not to apologise personally I find it demeaning and unnecessary. We should feel comfortable in our own skin, feel comfortable making a statement or making a choice. We need some girl power up in here ! Maybe this isn’t directly caused by the lack of equality between the sexes, it could be more to do with social media and the stigmas that exist in the virtual world. As I dubbed this habit a “defence mechanism” could we be apologising and defending ourselves in advance? Protecting ourselves over meaningless hate that is written by gutless keyboard warriors. Oh and did I mention half of them don’t know us from a bar of soap. It is sad that we as woman feel like we have to apologise on a constant basis for such simple things, something has got to change.

We are showing men and others that we are bowing lower than them, admitting defeat before we have even tried. I am so excited that Pantene recently touched on this subject with a witty video about being confident and strong and I couldn’t agree more. We have created so many ideals, stigmas and invisible rules that confidence has become unattainable and unrealistic in many settings including social ones. Watch the video here. We now face serious social issues like this one which stem from multiple societal impacts such as social media and gender inequality.

I think for the world to change we need to break out of the false shell we have around ourselves and be bold. You or I shouldn’t have to feel like we need to apologise, just rock with it and start to feel your backbone again. Stand tall and make a statement, don’t look weak, don’t back down and don’t apologise for no reason. There is a time and a place for a genuine apology but that is not on a daily basis hundreds of times per day. Of course we are all only human and it is only natural to develop and be conditioned to get into ugly habits like this one.

By making a statement not an apology we earn more respect for ourselves and others. Don’t admit defeat, don’t lower yourself to that level. Just be you, be true.

What are your thoughts ?

Rochelle x



  1. I like this! So often I see girls saying sorry about their appearance, and there’s no need to! I fall victim to this too sometimes, but we need to be strong and brave.

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